Men Are (Not) from Mars*

Love is not gender specific. Therefore, romance is not gender-specific. Nearly every idea on this blog applies to both men and women, even though I sometimes say “her” and other times “his.” Don’t forget that deep down, we all want the same things in life. Men and women have different styles, not different needs.



Note: Things have changed since the 1950s, men like flowers too. A recent survey indicates that 74 percent of men would feel comfortable receiving flowers and would appreciate the gesture.



The next time you’re tempted to fall into using simple gender stereotypes, think about The Odd Couple. Felix and Oscar are both “regular guys” but they’re as different as night and day! Their differences arise from their individual, personalities, not from their gender.


The same applies to you and your partner. Not all women are emotional, intuitive, and communicative. Not all men are logical, aggressive, and practical. While generalizations are generally true, it’s also true that it’s the quirks and idiosyncrasies, the qualities that make people unique that we fall in love with.


A very useful exercise is to talk together about how and why you first fell in love with each other. The  challenge is to answer very, very specifically. You’ll notice that the qualities most people identify are rarely gender-specific (“His eyes.” “Her sense of humor.” “The way he smells.” “His solid values.” “We both love the same books.”)


People with Good Relationships tend to stay in touch with these qualities in themselves and support those qualities in their partners.



Proof that men are from Earth:
1. A man wrote Romeo and Juliet.
2. A man wrote The Bridges of Madison County.
3. Fred Astaire was a man.





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Men Are from Mars