"Hachara disease"

Here I am... sitting in my desk.. in my room... high up in the mountains... in the middle of a nowhere i call home...

now awake for 36 hours straight... i don't know why i haven't slept... i didn't know why...

i had just hung up my phone... something's different... her voice.. her breathing was different... 

I sat for 30 minutes... my friends were here... i could only see them talk.. i didn't hear a word they said...

something was wrong with me...

you don't sound okay.. i had asked her, and you seem to be hiding something....

she said no.. am fine... i knew she was lying and i told her... liar! 

she said i'm fine... and i believed her...

it's a little past 5 am, she excuses herself... we're leaving to beirut... 

her appointment is not before 8... and before i ask her...

we're making a stop before we get there... she said

i could swear she's not okay... but i let her go... she wanted me to let her go...

yes..it's what i feel the most bad about... i should have insisted.. but..

yeah... i get an sms from her saying she is in a hospital room... 

and a blog post notification... her blog...

and yes i had to learn it from her blog that she is undergoing surgery...

i don't know what i'm feeling right now... i don't know what i'm doing here on my blog...

I just hope she gets well soon.. very soon...

I Love you koukou

allah y5alile albik w y2awmik bkher w salemeh...